Dance For Me
Women, in my experience, love to dance. Their minds and bodies seem to have been taylor made for fluid motion and agility. But while nearly every woman I have met desires to express themselves through movement, many are insufficiently comfortable with themselves or their bodies to dance freely before another. A bit like singing in the shower, many do it in private but the moment there is an audience they clam up and shut down.
I love to draw out the inner dancer in my submissive. It is often said that being a successful Dom is not about forcing a submissive do things they don’t want to do but rather, enticing them to do things they secretly always wanted to do but never thought they could or would. Dancing is emblematic of everything else in a D/s relationship. If a Dom can draw out the inner dancer, then he can also draw out other wonderful sensual traits of a sub.
Hidden deep amid the dark recesses of many inner dancers is also a common fantasy of being a stripper, a geisha, a Mata Hari, a belly dancer, a courtesan, or the like. It is the forbidden and frightening fruit that many women would love to taste but would or should never experience in their real lives. This is the woman I want to draw out in a D/s relationship. She is there already, buried deep under mountains of social conditioning, insecurities, and life experiences. My job, no my personal goal, is to find that inner dancer, breathe life into her, take her by the hand and convince her that I am a safe, welcoming space for her deepest desires.
Some might say this is manipulation. Perhaps so in the wrong hands. I view it as building a level of trust, security and desire sufficient to allow all those deeply buried secret inner desires to come to life. Dancing is a wonderful place to start.
With music in the background, I love to dance with my submissive, gently and tenderly. Bodies swaying. Hips undulating. Slowly I draw back to arms length still holding her hands and outwardly appreciate the sensuality of her movement with clear signs of my approval and gratitude. As she grows more confident under my gaze, I may release her hands, fingertips dragging across finger tips, allowing space between us as I continue my appreciative gaze. Eventually, I may lean against the wall or even take a seat subtly encouraging her to keep dancing.
Now she genuinely has an audience. She will feel awkward and naked even when she is fully clothed. But my approval, obvious desire for her, and verbal accolades serve to encourage her. I tell her how amazing she looks and how sexy and sensual her movement is to me. How it makes me long for her. As her comfort and confidence grows and the intensity of my approving gaze and complimentary remarks rises I may eventually say, “Dance for Me.”
Few women in my experience can resist the urge. The desire is there. They just need to feel safe and comfortable and not judged. As she undulates and moves with greater intensity, I may eventually urge her to, “Show Me.” Here there will be no question what I desire and how much I desire it. And by now, she does too. Here, in this safe, warm, sensual space between us a new life is born. An inner dancer emerges and becomes the exotic dancer, the stripper, the courtesan, the Mata Hari. That inner woman who has always been there is unlocked and set free, never to be locked away again. Not so long as she is with me.
Dance for me.
Caption © For The Love of a Submissive, 2012
Image © Max Italy Magazine, March 2011 Model: Rosie Huntington Whitely