"When I was younger I wanted to show that world of men that I could be everything they could be and more," you ponder, sitting in your time out beneath the writing table. "I could match any man in school, in my profession and what more, could dominate any man with my looks, charm and a little sexual innuendo. I could beat the pants off of any man and have him thanking me for it."
"I could outwork, outsmart, and outthink my competitors and look good doing it," a smile coming to your face at the memory in spite of your sour mood and confusion. "I could have any man I wanted with just the right look. And yet I was never happy. Somehow, all that control and capability only left me feeling hollow and empty inside. I was never content with where I was and always needed something new, exciting, more."
"Now I find there is this part of me that wants to surrender completely and give up control. And yet I do not seem to be able to do that entirely. I am clinging to something. I just cannot let go of that last vestige of my old dominant and controlling self. I want to surrender and yet I do not seem capable of it. And if I don’t, then this man does not want me."
"Do I even want to be be wanted by him?"
Caption © For the Love of A Submissive, 2012