As plain as it may be, this is one of my favorite photo sets on all of Tumblr. So much is said in these images about the very essence of Domination and submission without all the usual trappings that pornographic images rely upon to convey the power exchange. Here there are no whips and crops, no ropes and cuffs, no physical domination or painful stimuli. There is no fierce looking Dom and no cowering submissive. There is no expression of extreme agony or ecstasy and indeed no over sexualization whatsoever. What there is in abundance is what I cherish most in a D/s relationship; unfettered love and devotion.
Here, there is nothing but a loving, caring and protective Dom attending to his adoring and devoted sub. Indeed there is devotion evinced all around. The power exchange is complete and without question as displayed by the ratio of clothing and their physical positioning and proximity. It is understood at first glance what relationship exists between these two.
But look closer. There is a look of doubt, concern, loneliness or perhaps even regret on her face. Whatever the motivation and emotion, something is weighing heavily on the heart and mind of this submissive. And while we are never shown the face of her Dom and cannot read any expression whatsoever, there is no question what his body language is conveying; strength, confidence, devotion, care, concern, comfort, love.
This to me is what being a Dom is all about. Love; perhaps not always in the romantic sense, or as that of a life partner, but sometimes an altogether deeper union. A spiritual connection as one loves a higher power or feels a sense of communion with nature. A feeling of being one with another spirit. A melding of two hearts and minds in a common desire to delve deeper; to explore and discover ourselves and each other completely. To peel back the layers of social conditioning, familial upbringing and expectations and find our true selves. To discover, perhaps for the first time, the passion, emotion and raw sexuality that has been buried under a lifetime of experiences and armor. To find that partner, to find that kindred spirit, is a rare and beautiful gift that should be cherished like no other in life save perhaps that of one’s own child.
Devotion. Absolute and utter devotion. There can be no other word to describe the relationship I feel between myself and my Muse. We are not necessarily sole life, romantic, or sexual partners. But there is a devotion to one another that can only be described as spiritual and is unlike any other relationship in our respective lives. There is almost nothing we would not do for one another.
Sure, I am a Dom and she is a sub, but we come to each other as equals to assume those role for one another. She is no more submissive than I am Dominant. Neither is better or worse. We are equal and opposite forces that must rely on one another to be whole. My missing other half. Without her I am half a man. How can I be anything but absolutely devoted to my other self?
The games, the scenes, the trappings of power exchange, the sexuality and sex, are all wonderful adornments on the basic theme of D/s. But at its core are the emotions and raw spiritual connection I feel when I am with my other half. We need each other, in the same way that we need air, water, food, shelter and something greater to believe in. Without this connection we feel half-empty and search longingly for that missing piece with all the pull of the moon on the tides.
So when you find that special connection with your missing D/s half, tend that relationship with the care of a garden you rely upon for survival, cherish it as you would your own child because in a very real sense it is, and give it the devotion you would to a higher power. Do not lose your self in the process, but do not ever place your self above your partner for without him or her, you are but a hollow D/s shell waiting to be completed.
Love and Devotion - There can be no other reason.
Caption © For The Love of a Submissive, 2012
Image Credit Unknown